A House Divided: Some Ideas for Bridging the Political Divide

In a world where everything is becoming more politicized and extreme, what do you do when your own partner is on the opposing team?

There may have been a time when it was a little bit easier to “agree to disagree” or just avoid talking politics within the family if there was a disagreement. But now it seems nearly impossible to do anything without it feeling like you’re taking a side or showing your values. 

So how do you navigate this politicized world, especially when someone you care about the most has a different belief system?

First of all, I don’t know any 2 people who agree with each other fully 100% of the time. And although having two opposing views may be difficult in terms of making decisions for your family, it can also be extremely beneficial to your family. For instance…

• Children growing up with parents who have differing views, will also get a more diverse worldview and a well-rounded sense of themselves and their relationships with others.

• Being able to see both sides of an issues is also a sign of empathy, something we know to be key in forming meaningful relationships.

If you are experiencing increased conflict in your relationship due to political differences with your partner, here are some strategies for feeling more aligned, even when you don’t agree 100% of the time.

1. Don’t try to persuade your spouse to see your point of view – I think we all have a natural inclination to try to persuade others to our belief system, after all, we’ve spent so much time and effort researching and confirming our point of view. The problem is, political beliefs don’t just come from the current context, political belief systems are starting to be formed even in early childhood, based on parents’, family’s , friends, and your community’s belief systems and world views. If your goal is to change your partner’s point of view and you are constantly trying to talk about it and send them information, that can be triggering and actually drive him/her away from your point of view. Seek to understand, not persuade.
    
2. Try taking a step back and going back to what attracted you to him/her in the first place. Take a step away from what you read, hear, or see online. Respect each other’s differences
   
   
3. If one partner has something that is weighing on him/her that is very important, find a time to discuss it. If there is action that needs to be taken, try talking about it while empathizing with the other’s point of view. Look through it from a logical standpoint and weigh your options.
   
   
4. Turn towards your feelings of anger or anxiety and utilize those to motivate you to take action. Volunteering can have so many positive benefits for your mental health. You can get out of your head for a moment and take action towards a belief or value that has a high importance to you. You can join alongside other like-minded people, which will increase your sense of social wellbeing as well.